The God Who Says, "Me, too"

I sat across the table from here and told her my story. The one where I was rejected and grieved the loss. The one where I was made out to be the bad guy. The story I have never quite gotten over. She listened and nodded her head and then in so many words she said,

"Me, too."

She had been rejected and had grieved it. She knew what it was like to be the bad guy when in essence she was the victim. It would probably be a story she would never quite move past. Some things are so grievous that you heal and become strong, but you are forever changed.

I write my thoughts down on paper. I tell Him the truth. Really, the outcome has been hard...does He know what it's like to be the one rejected? Does He know the pain of abuse? Can He fathom the process of healing? And quietly, I hear Him say,

"Me, too."

"He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." (Isaiah 53:3)

Sometimes we just need a friend who gets us...who can relate to the story of our lives, but most of all, we need a God who says, "Me, too." As crazy as it sounds there is strength in another's sorrow. Just knowing that others have walked what we walked can give us the courage to face the conflict, grieve the loss, and fight for healing. When we listen to another's story and find ours in theirs a bond is formed.

So today can you...

• reach out to another hurting soul?
• listen to someone's story?
• tell your own?
• focus on the God who knows your pain and says "Me, too"?

Here are some more "Me, too" verses not only about God's empathy for us, but how we can be the strength in someone's sorrow:

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15

But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you make take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless. Psalm 10:14

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:4

In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them; in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old. Isaiah 63:9

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. II Corinthians 1:3-4

How to Handle Everyone

Last week I attended a funeral...of a young man who passed away too early. What incredible heartbreak lingered there in the memorial service! The brokenness hung heavy in the room. His mom got up to speak and told us that her son would always say to her, "Everyone is doing the best that they can. Treat everyone as if they have a broken heart."

What words of wisdom! Do we all not walk around with brokenness? It could be a divorce. A friend dying of cancer. The loss of a job. The loss of a relationship. Rejection. Family dysfunction. We all carry heartache. Even those who seem to have a rough exterior. The brash. The harsh. The mean ones...sometimes they are the most broken. The one who looks like they have it all together? He or she is the one who may be falling apart. You just never know the burden of another, because we excel in disguising our pain.

We need to treat others as if they are carrying a broken heart, but how?

Assume the best. Many times we look at others' actions and judge them without knowing their hearts. We make false assumptions about what their intentions were, but the truth is, we can never know the heart of another. We can't totally understand what makes him or her do what they do. We have no idea what lead him or her to this place and those actions. So the only thing to do is assume the best. 

Dole out grace. We all want grace, but have a hard time giving it. We want people to judge us on our intentions instead of what we actually did. We desire the benefit of the doubt all the while doubting the person beside us. Grace says, "You may not deserve this kind treatment, but I am going to give it anyways." Withhold judgment. Speak a kind word. Let it go.

Love them from afar. There are drastic times when you actually have to handle with care YOUR heart. You are the fragile one who needs the strength to walk away. Sometimes the best way to handle another is to have some distance. I know this sounds so counter to giving them grace and assuming the best, but I have found that when a situation or person becomes toxic it is best to get out for their sake and yours. It does you and the other person no good to stay in something in which you will only break each other more. Oftentimes, the way to handle a broken heart is to let it go.

We all carry a broken heart. Let's handle each other with care.

Instilling Faith as Our Kids Grow

My boys got their start in God's Word pretty early in life. Almost from the time they were born we were reading them Bible stories and taking them to church. However, as they have grown {They are currently 14 and 18 years old.}, the way we approach biblical teaching has had to change. Gone are the days of us sitting down together a reading a chapter in the Old Testament as we learn Biblical history. Gone are the days of us reciting verses together. As they have aged they have changed and we as their parents have had to do the same.

Come join me today at Future Flying Saucers as I discuss ideas on how to help your teen apply God's Word to his or her life...

Lenten Letters

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While I am not Catholic and didn't grow up in a denomination that observed the forty days before Easter, I do love the idea of Lent, focusing on Christ and His sacrifice for us. Like Advent, it can be a time to slow down and refocus our thoughts on Him and what really matters. Here is what I will be doing during Lent...

Earlier in February, I read Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at Alland came across Karen Ehman's idea of writing "Lenten Letters".  Instead of giving up something during Lent, how about doing something worthwhile for others?

The concept is simple: For the forty days of Lent {This year from February 18th until Easter minus the Sundays} you pick a person each day to write a letter or card to. A letter of gratitude for how they have influenced your life. Or maybe just a short message that you are thinking of them. I have already started a list of people to write to and am working my way to forty. For me, I will send some letters. Others won't get sent. Why? Because I either don't have an address for them or because there are extenuating circumstances. Regardless, I think it is a valuable activity to write even if they can't be sent as it changes our hearts and grows gratitude. Those that can't be sent I will put in my journal...the others will be sent as cards or even a Facebook message if need be.

Here are some ideas of who to write to...

-parents

-grandparents

-children

-an influential teacher

-a boss

-a dear friend

-a mentor

-a pastor

Or someone who...

-you admire

-you taught {good idea for me as I teach}

-you need to forgive

-extended forgiveness to you

-is dealing with grief

-is gracious

-helped you in the past

-hurt you

-you admire

-who influenced you in your younger years

-who challenged you

-is struggling in daily life

-lives next door

-needs a word of encouragement

Also, this Lent I will be going through Candace's book, Wait Only Upon God. This is a forty day devotional on waiting on God instead of waiting on our circumstances to change. It is greatly needed in my life these days as I have had to move on from hard circumstances that more than likely won't dramatically change. We need to put our hope in the One that can deliver. Our circumstances can't. People won't. Only God is trustworthy. The devotional contains each day: a scripture, devotional thought, and space to write a prayer back to God using the scripture provided.  Here is the link to the e-book {Use the code THEARCHITECT for $2 off through February 13th.} or you can buy the book in print form at Amazon. So worth it if you are going through hard times or circumstances you feel will never change.

So what are your plans for Lent? How will you be observing it? I would love to hear your ideas!

Praying the Scriptures for Your Family

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Ever feel at a loss on how to pray for your family? Not sure what they really need most? Candace over at His Mercy is New has a great resource that has helped me pray for those I love. Praying the Scripture for Your Family uses God's Word as the basis for our prayers for those closest to us.  There are thirty-one days of Scriptures. Each day you are provided one Scripture, a prayer and then space to journal a more personalized prayer.  Also, included is a calendar with all the Scriptures listed. I participated in praying for my family in October, and I found it to be powerful and helpful to use God's Word as I prayed for them. It gave me enough guidance so that I wouldn't flounder at a loss of what to pray and yet enough freedom to make it personal to our lives. What could be better than to use God's own words to pray back to Him?!

So if you are looking for a guide in your prayer life I would highly recommend Praying the Scriptures! It is a downloadable e-book for only $2.99.  So worth it!

The Sheep-Counting God

{Elmer A. Humphrey}

When I think of sheep I think of my great grandfather, Elmer. I never knew him, but I have heard the stories. A man of Welsh descent that knew about sheep. He could shear 100 head of them in a day with hand clippers. Unreal. One of his descendant went on to compete in sheep shearing (yes, there are international competions in cutting wool).  But the count was far higher than 100...my cousin could shear 333 in a day with electric clippers.

I wonder back then how my great grandfather kept count of those 100 sheep. Surely, his mind must have wandered as he cut the wool from another bleating animal, but somehow he kept track. Sheep counting has been around for a long time. For most, it is in an effort to sleep. For some, it is their livelihood. For One, it is His love.

God counts sheep.

3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Luke 15:3-7

We are so important to Him that He counts us, and even when He has the 99 safe and sound, He misses that one. We matter to Him. He will search deep and wide for us. Pursue us. Go after us with His love.

{Elmer, on the right, 1907}

We, His sheep, count to Him.

My Word of the Year for 2014 is "Count". Come count with me.

The Waiting

I read a lot, but it is rare that I take a 300-page book and read it in 24 hours. The Waiting gripped me from the start. In the late 1920's, Minka was a teen who was raped one Sunday afternoon in her hometown in South Dakota.  Nine months later she gave birth to a daughter that she would take care of for a few weeks, but would eventually have to give up for adoption. Then for almost eight decades she writes letters to the agency where she left her daughter and waits praying that one day she will see her again.

Minka's story is non-fiction, but it grabs you as if it were fiction! What an amazing story of how God can take a wound and use it as a blessing! Throughout the book, you are introduced to Minka's indomitable spirit, her wit, and her losses.  Losses that she seems to plow through with grace and dignity.  Her courage and determination are mind-boggling.

If you are a mother or someone who has experienced great loss in life then you will identify with this story! There were several points in the book in which I was trying to fight back the tears, but the ending gave me goosebumps! What an awesome God we serve that He would bring a story like Minka's full circle! This book gave me hope that God is in the details of our lives and that He is out to bless His children even if they must endure heartache.

Broken and Blessed

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If you have followed by blog for any amount of time you know that I love studying God's Word.  I have a post on my blog that gives a long list of the studies I have done over the years in case you are looking for one.

I have done several studies on Genesis from different perspectives.  I have to say it has become one of my favorites.  Beth Moore has The Patriarchs. Shawn Lantz has written Encountering the Healing Power of Forgiveness  which surrounds the characters of Genesis. And now there is Jessica LaGrone's study called
Broken and Blessed.  Each of these studies takes a slightly different angle on the book of Genesis.  In Broken and Blessed, Jessica focuses on how we are all broken and that through the brokenness we can be blessed. There isn't a single family that isn't broken.  We are all messed up, but God can use the mess to make a masterpiece.

This is a six week study with a video for each week (I didn't do the videos so I can't speak to what they are like, but you can do this study without them.)  Here is the breakdown on who she focuses on each week:

Week 1: Adam and Eve
Week 2: Abraham and Sarah
Week 3: Isaac and Rebekah
Week 4: Jacob and Esau
Week 5: Rachel and Leah
Week 6: Joseph and his Brothers

Jessica pulls out a lot of new concepts I hadn't thought of before.  I love how she describes that a well represents love. She talks about how love was found for Isaac and Jacob at a well (that is where there wives were found).  She then connects those stories to the Samaritan woman at the well and how she found love in Jesus when He sat and talked with her.  The thought had never occurred to me!

I would highly recommend her study even if you have studied Genesis before.  You will make new connections and gain insight!

 

Sticky Faith

I have worked with youth in some capacity for about twenty years.  I have a heart for them.  Their struggles.  Their hopes and dreams.  Even in their failures I pray that they are able to hang on in their faith.  Recently, I read Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids.  It was eye opening!  I have two boys both teenagers (the 12 year old is close enough to the teen years) and my greatest hope is that they follow God with their whole hearts.  I will feel that their lives are successful if they end up loving God and knowing how to love people.  To me, that is the most important job of any Christian.  Financial, personal, or career success aren't that important.

There are alarming statistics out there that say the about 50% of kids that grow up in the church will leave their faith.  That is just scary to me!  This past April I heard Dr. Kara Powell speak on what we can do as parents to up the chances of our kids faith sticking with them.

In her book, Sticky Faith, Kara gives tips and ideas of how to structure your family life so that there is more of the likelihood of your kids staying connected to their faith.   One of the interesting aspects she talks about is the idea of "Sin Management". Most of us grew up with this concept.  You know, a list of do's and don't's. A certain way of acting.  And how to manage it all when there are more don't's than do's.  But really, that isn't what the gospel is about!  It is a gospel of grace! Not that we don't teach them right or wrong, but that when they do wrong we teach them that there is nothing that they can do that will make them lose the love of Christ and that Jesus can deal with anything we do, even the worst of things.

One of the tips she gives is to focus on how to trust God.  Trust of God leads to love of God. We need to guide our conversations to get them to think about the trust issue.  In each and every situation in life what does it look like to trust God?  How will we think and act in that certain circumstance if we are trusting God?  What will our thoughts and actions look like if we aren't trusting Him?

If you are a parent who is worried about your kids relationship with Christ or you are looking for ways to parent your kids so that their faith is built then Sticky Faith can offer great ideas toward that goal!

Making a Memory {A Mystery Meal}

{Mystery Meal of 2011}

A few years back we did a mystery unit in school.  We ended the unit and the school year with a mystery meal.  I thought that it would be fun to once again finish off our school year with another mystery meal.

Here is the link to the mystery meal menu I used this time around.  I basically had them choose four items for each course without really knowing what they are picking because all the names of the items are in code.  Below you will find what each name on the menu actually represents:

Polar Bear Patties-Klondike bars

Chips-Fries

Pitch-Fork

Blood-Ketchup

Hearts-Strawberries

Pigs in a maize-Mini corn dogs

Gluten globs-Croutons

Sharpie-Knife

Shovel-Spoon

Roman Roughage-Caesar salad

Tasty Dihydrogen Monoxide-Flavored water

Crumb catcher-Napkin 

Here are some pictures of the event:

{Zach picking his items for each course}

{

{Noah doing the same}

{One of the courses}

Such a fun activity to make lunch a bit different!

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

 Have you ever felt like you are going crazy in a particular relationship?  That you just can't win with a person no matter how much you try?  That when you interact with him or her it always turns out poorly? 

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship  is an excellent read if you are trying to navigate a rocky road with a spouse, friend, or family member.  I have spent over a decade managing a family relationship that was incredibly unhealthy in my life.  It hasn't been easy, but I have to say that I have grown tremendously because of it.

Recently, something popped up related to this hard part of my life.  The Emotionally Destructive Relationship has been on my To-Read list for awhile and since I knew I was going to have to be dealing with some hard stuff, I decided to pick it up and read it.  This is one of the best books I have read on the subject.  The author, Leslie Vernick, is a Christian counselor who went through a tremendously difficult relationship with her mom.  She gives wisdom throughout her book through Biblical examples and practical advice.  She teaches how to determine if a relationship is toxic and then what to do about it.  To give you just a taste of what she says here are a few quotes:

“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.”

"It is impossible to be spiritually mature when we are emotionally unhealthy."

"Jesus requires that we be peacemakers, not peacekeepers, who pretend all is well in order to maintain an illusion of peace."

If you are struggling with someone this book can help you sort through the mess.  It won't be easy, but it will take you to a better place and on the road to recovery. 

 

Praying for Your Kids

Recently, I have been feeling the need to pray more for my boys.  There have been certain situations that have spurred me on to interceding for them.  I just came across a prayer guide for January that parents can use to pray for their kids, 31 Days of Prayer for Your Children.  If you are interested check out the link.

Great Christmas Ideas

Christmas is just around the corner...Here is a collection of fun ideas for the season...

Lego Ornaments

{Includes instructions}

What a neat idea for a mantel or shelf!

Christmas Tree Bread

 

Christmas pizza!!

Edible Nativity in Candy Form

{Jesus is our "Lifesaver"}

3D Snowflakes

And the strangest idea of all...

Mr. Bean

Remembering Grandma...

{Grandma in 1921}

She would have been 92 today. She has been gone for eleven years.  I miss her still. Her smile.  Her joy.  Her grace towards others. I still miss my Grandma Jessie...

{Grandma at age ten}

I miss her life lessons.  The ones in which she showed us how to overcome adversity.  How to live with lack...in her case the lack of parents. (Her mother dead at an early age.  Her father rejecting her. She being raised by other family members.)  How to come out of it the other side a victor instead of a victim.  How to survive and to accomplish it with finesse.

{Grandma with her brother, the day after her mother's funeral}

I miss her craziness...like the time I caught her sitting on the washing machine trying to hold it down and keep it from "walking" across the floor.  Her mere tiny frame wasn't sufficient to control that mechanical beast.

{Grandma at Wall Drug in 1941}

 I count myself blessed to have had such a role model in my life.  A woman of strength.  A woman of grace. It is my hope to follow in her footsteps.