Hope {Think On These Things}

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"Hope is a certainty", he said, standing in front of the church on the first day of Advent. My ears couldn't fathom the concept. Hope was never a sure thing. I had hoped for things to change. Devastatingly, they had not. I had placed my faith in those around me. They failed me. Maybe not all the time, but enough that the words "Hope is a certainty" felt like a lie. But then he began to explain himself...Hope is a certainty when Christ is your center. Hope placed in Him is never wasted, never a luck of the draw, never mere chance. It is a certainty, because He is an anchor that won't let us go to wander lost in this tumultuous ocean we call life. Our hope is only as good as the Person we put our hope in. So maybe I was putting my hope in the wrong things and in the wrong people all along.

A few years back I did a study on "waiting on God". One of the points that was made in it is that "hope" and "waiting" are one in the same. (I should have known this as I also speak Spanish, and they use the same word for both "hope" and "wait".) What we wait for is what we hope for. We wait for that raise. We wait for that apology. We wait for the holidays. We wait for healing. All hopes. So as we start a new year filled with the hope of good things to come, let's focus on where we should really place our hope. He is the only One who will come through for us every time (even if it isn't exactly the way we thought He would do it). He is the only One who we should wait on. All the rest will eventually fail us.

You will notice as we start a new year that Think On These Things has a slightly different look! There are still normally 2-4 verses per day and questions to ponder at the bottom of the printable. It is my "hope" that these printables will take less ink if you are printing them out and have a "cleaner look" for you. Please know that if you participate in Think On These Things that I take the 20th of each month to pray for you! I may not know all who use these verses, but I know that God knows your needs and requests!

You can download the file here.

If you would like all the Think on These Things verses or want to know more about it, click here.

Instagram

During the month I try to post my thoughts on the verses on Instagram. If you would like to follow me you can find me here. Also, if you are posting your own thoughts there please use the hashtag #thinkonthesethings. I would love to read how God speaks to you!!

Supplies

There are many ways you can use these verses. You can read and meditate on them. You can write them out as you meditate on them. You can read them and then write about them in a journal or journaling Bible. You could do verse mapping with them (See this post). Here are some of the items I use...

A single column journaling Bible...

ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (TruTone, Chestnut, Leaves Design)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Black)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Brown, Flap with Strap)

Some highlighters {These are my absolute favorites!}...

Eco Highlighter Pencils - Set of 5 Colors

Black pens...

Black Ink Pen Set

I love these journals that lay flat...easier to write in! They are great for Scripture writing!
Studio Oh! Deconstructed Journals

Let's Think On These Things!

Mended {Think On These Things}

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It started about twenty years ago...the breaking of me. Anxiety, depression, and toxic relationships left me a devastated woman, and the very things I never wanted to happen in my life did. The brokenness of my relationships broke me. I would never be the same. For about three years now, I have been healing. There are days I think I am whole. There are times when I am sure I am more broken than before. Healing is a roller coaster ride in which you hope at the end you come out alive.

There is this other aspect of brokenness and healing we don't like to talk about...we need the brokenness to become whole. You see, for me, the circumstances I never wanted to happen in my life were the very thing I needed to become who God wants me to be, the woman that I am not. Fear free (or at least not debilitated by it). Brave with boundaries. More healthy in my interactions with humans. All of these descriptions are NOT ME, but God decided to use brokenness and healing to make me into what I am not.

So this month, let's focus on the God that mends us, the One whose wounds heal us, the Great Physician. Maybe your breaking is different from mine as we don't all break in the same places, but the concept of healing is the same. Healing changes us into who we are meant to be. So grab a pen and a journal and let's "Think on These Things" and explore how we are mended.

And if you are in the midst of being mended? See the end of this post with links to my series, Hope and Healing.

You can download the file here.

If you would like all the Think on These Things verses or want to know more about it, click here.

Instagram

During the month I try to post my thoughts on the verses on Instagram. If you would like to follow me you can find me here. Also, if you are posting your own thoughts there please use the hashtag #thinkonthesethings. I would love to read how God speaks to you!!

Resources

There are many ways you can use these verses. You can read and meditate on them. You can write them out as you meditate on them. You can read them and then write about them in a journal or journaling Bible. Here are some of the items I use...

A single column journaling Bible...

ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (TruTone, Chestnut, Leaves Design)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Black)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Brown, Flap with Strap)

Some highlighters {These are my absolute favorites!}...

Eco Highlighter Pencils - Set of 5 Colors

Black pens...

Black Ink Pen Set

I love these journals that lay flat...easier to write in!

Studio Oh! Deconstructed Journals

Resources on Healing

If you are struggling through the process of healing I have a series on my blog called Hope and Healing in which I wrote thirty-one posts about being broken and mended. Here's a quick look at some of the topics...

Slow Down to Heal
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Five Ways to Make Peace with Your Past
Finding Your Voice
Books Lists on Healing

Click here to see the whole series.

And then there is this...

 Ann Voskamp's book releases tomorrow, and it fits our theme for the month of November perfectly. I had the privilege to read an advanced copy as I am on the launch team for her book. In it, Ann discusses what to do with "your one broken heart". Not to be missed! You can find it HERE. Also, there is a DVD study coming out in December on the book. Check it out here.

What to do with Your One Broken Heart

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For several years now, I have been lost. Left with the pieces of a broken heart, I have fumbled through life as I try to heal. There are days I feel whole and there are the other days...the ones in which I grieve for what was once my life. So when I heard about Ann Voskamp's new book, I knew I had to read it. A book on brokenness? Yes. Exactly what I need.

I don't know how to proceed. You see, my brokenness with a family member and with a church I spent about two decades with has changed me. I am not who I was. I used to be the one eager to make connections with others. I used to want to serve. I used to want to have "community" around me. These days I am content to be on my own. I have struggled with what to do with those feelings. I simply don't know. I am more cautious in relationships. I want fewer connections. I am more focused on my family instead of the outside world. I am more dependent on a God that won't turn His back on me, manipulate me, or condemn me. Are these things wrong? Not necessarily. However, I have felt  I am living life small, in a closed circle. Letting others in is hard these days, because all I want to do is avoid the agonizing pain all over again. That's why reading Ann's new book, The Broken Way, has been good for me. Ann's one goal is to ask the question, "How do you live with your one broken heart?" It's the question I have been asking myself for three years now...

Can I tell you? Do I dare be honest? I didn't like Ann's answer. "You live with your one broken heart by giving it away." Precisely what I have not wanted to do. I have wanted to close in on myself. Stay safe in my own little world. Frankly, people are scary, and because of my life story, I find Christian women to be incredibly frightening. I don't mean to offend if you fall into that category (The irony isn't lost on me...I am a Christian woman...yep, I am scary, too.). It has just been my experience. So when Ann suggested that in order to live with your brokenness you must allow God to use it by giving yourself away I freaked out. Yet, I know she is exactly right. "Giving away the heart- heals the heart", she writes. It is exactly what I need to do no matter the fear that rises in me.

If you are living with brokenness...oh, how my heart aches for you. I understand the depth of the pain. Some days it can be insurmountable. Healing takes time, effort, and a willingness to face the events that broken your heart. It isn't easy. May I humbly suggest Ann's book? It comes out October 25th. (See TheBrokenWay.com for more details.) It is such a good read for anyone who is struggling. While you wait for the book to come out, check out Ann's post with a calendar on how to be the GIFT and give your heart away. In it, she gives you a daily challenge you can do to bless someone else in your life, because the only way to live with your one broken heart is to give it away.

Also, if you have been doing Think On These Things (my monthly Scripture writing challenge) with me this year, follow along in November as our theme will be "Mended". We will explore verses about brokenness and becoming whole. The downloadable file will be available October 24.

I wrote pages and pages of quotes from the book down in my faith journal so that I can go back to them later; however, I will leave you with a few of them now...

Let's rise to the challenge...because in giving our hearts away we may not only heal our brokenness, but also the heart of another...

I received an advanced copy of the book as I am a part of Ann's launch team for The Broken Way. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Going Deeper With God

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Over the years, it has has been a comfort in sorrow, a guide to daily living, and the words to my prayers. I can honestly say that in my darkest hours it was the one thing that pulled me through...the words I repeated over and over in my head when the depression loomed large or the anxiety screamed at me.  I have come back to it again and again. Morning after morning. You would think after thirty-eight years of looking at it I would tire of the mere sight of it. That hasn't been the case. His Word has endured in my life for almost four decades. I am not about to give it up!

Sure, there have been seasons when I spent less time in it...the crazy college years...the sleepless infant-filled nights. But for the most part it has always been by my side. I have left it to collect dust at times while there have been other seasons I have woken up and it was the first thing I reached for (yes, even before the coffee!). There are smudges...wrinkles from dropping it in the snow...creases in the places in it I have visited time and again. It is well-used and well-loved.

So how do you maintain a love for His word over the years? How do you keep going when you have heard the stories one too many times of the giant and the stones in the sling or the crossing of a sea on dry ground? How do you get started when His Word may be new to you? Join me in September and October as I explore how to delve into God's Word. Maybe you need ideas on how to get started. Or maybe like me you need fresh ideas on how to do deeper with God and His Word. It is my hope and prayer that you will find some helpful methods over the next two months you can use in your time with Scripture. Here's a look at what I will be writing about...

{Please note: This links won't work until the posts go live.}

Write the Word

Verse Mapping

SOAP 

Pray the Word

Journaling the Word

Art and the Word

Read through the Word

So will you join me as we look at these ideas? Stop by for the next seven Mondays, and we will take a look at how to go deep with God's Word.

(Un)Qualified

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Over the past fifteen years I have struggled. You see...I don't measure up. Rejection has slapped me hard in the face several times. Its blow has come from people I loved and who should have loved me. There came a point in my journey that I had to come to grips with the fact that I was not loved. I didn't meet others' standards and expectations of me. I was unqualified.

It has been a long journey towards healing. Can I just admit that I have not arrived? There are times when I am confronted with those that said I didn't measure up. The old panic comes crashing over me. Maybe I really don't matter? Am I ever going to be enough? When will I be accepted for who I am? Frankly, I don't have the answers to those questions.

I have had to search elsewhere for my acceptance. When people have rejected I have ran to the One that doesn't. I have struggled long and hard to accept the fact that people's love and/or lack of it for me has nothing to do with me. The only opinion that matters is HIS.

So earlier in the year I came across this book and the title caught my eye. {Un}Qualified. That's me! And this book was exactly what I needed to hear. I am unqualified which makes me qualified in God's eyes. Oh, how I need to hear the words written within its pages. Steven Furtick, in a humorous and honest style, lays out how we all struggle to measure up. He discusses how are weakness are sometimes strengths in disguise and how...

"God has a habit of picking people who have been passed over." and "He is perfectly comfortable with the messiness that is mankind."

Throughout the book, Steven references the life of Jacob. Frankly, Jacob is one of my least favorite characters in the Bible. Why would God pick a deceiver and a highly dysfunctional person to be the patriarch of His people? That's the point. Jacob is highly unqualified which makes it easier for God's power to shine through.

If you have struggled with your "acceptability", your weaknesses, or where you fit into His plan, {Un}Qualified would be a thought-provoking book to read.  I know I needed it. Yes, I am unqualified, and yet, He qualifies me.

Colors of Goodbye

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It will never go back to the way it was. How I fight against the new normal. Even three years later. Fifteen years ago. The amount of time doesn't matter, because while the soul-sucking grief lightens I still struggle under the shock of what has become my life. I will never totally get over it. I won't really even survive it. Someone new will become me, because grief and loss changes us in ways we could never imagine. I have known grief many times over: miscarriage, abuse, death, and angst that lead to relational loss. Each time I have cried out to God in my anguish. Every time He has heard me. No, He hasn't given me back what I loss. In its place, He has given me something else. I now know courage, strength, and peace like never before. Am I whole? Hardly. But maybe whole isn't the goal this side of heaven. Maybe it is more of a journey to walk with the One who will eventually fill those holes.

Last week I picked up a book on grief...

At first, I fought with myself. Can I really read this book about a woman who lost her nineteen-year-old daughter to a brain aneurysm? After all, I currently have a 19-year-old son. Would fear creep in for my own offspring? Because of my other losses would I be able to read about hers? I opened up the book anyways.

I am so glad I did.

On May 31, 2008, September Vaudrey said goodbye to her daughter as she left for her new job. It would be their last goodbye. Yet, it wasn't. After Katie, her daughter, suffered a brain aneurysm which caused a car accident as she drove to work, September would live years of goodbyes as she let go of her daughter and the life they once had as a family of seven. Colors of Goodbye is September's memoir of holding on to her daughter while letting her go.

This book that I was afraid to pick up I couldn't put down. The Vaudrey family story is gripping, and September's writing is beyond beautiful. Throughout it, she describes her fight with grief and how she coped. Her writing and thoughts give a deep look into ways we handle grief and how we push through the pain, but what I appreciated most was September's humor. I have learned through my own personal experience that one of the ways to deal with extreme pain is to laugh. I know that may sound a little irreverent or crazy, but somehow pain and laughter coexist in a bittersweet life.

If you have had grief and loss I encourage you to read Colors of Goodbye. Buy a big box of tissues and find a place where you can cry as you read. (By the way, don't read this book in public if you don't like people staring at you with mascara running down your face. Take it from my voice of experience.) You will be blessed beyond measure as you read...

I will leave you with a few quotes from the book one from Katie and the rest from September...

"I want to leave ripples in the lives I leave behind..." -Katie Vaudrey, age 15

"I am good, I sense Him (God) say. This tragedy doesn't change My character. It doesn't change who I am. I am good."

"(Tip: If you are a woman in a season of loss, stock up on waterproof mascara!)" --Oh, how I loved September's quips and humor!

"Heartbreak comes in many colors-death, divorce, job loss, poverty, relational fractures, abuse. Pain is the great equalizer, and it spares no one."

"But I am learning to cherish each day for what it is, not what it might have been."

Never Go Back

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A few years back I realized I needed to make some changes. The way I was interacting with others was only causing me pain. Frankly, my problem was that I was too nice. Too nice?! Really? I thought we were all supposed to be nice. True. Kindness towards others is what God calls us to do, but speaking the truth is another part of His desire for us. Kindness killed me. Being too kind and not standing up got me smashed...you see, people don't tend to mess with those who speak their mind and have great boundaries. However, those who are kind and sweet by nature tend to get walked all over. Think of the perilous relationship between Cookie Monster and those sugary, little round discs...cookies will always be in danger around him because they are just too sweet! Ha! 

These days kindness is still the way I operate. Honestly, it is what I normally gravitate to doing if given a choice. I am learning that I need to speak up more, drop the people pleasing, and block others' bad behavior towards me. I need to not do so much for others and allow them to step up. It is one of the hardest things I have done. It just doesn't come natural to me... (And by the way, before you begin to think that I am so type of arrogant saint touting how kind and wonderful I am: STOP. I have my faults...too many to count. Besides, being TOO kind is a fault!). I have had to hold myself back and proceed with caution when it comes to relationships. In the past, I didn't heed warning signs that people were unknowingly giving me about who they were and what they would do. I paid dearly for it.

So a few weeks ago, I was in Barnes and Noble leafing through books not really intending to buy anything. Until my eyes drifted over this title...

I love Dr. Henry Cloud's books. Years ago, I read his book on Boundaries and have been trying to learn how to create and maintain them ever since. He has great, practical Biblical advice when it comes to relationships, and his new book, Never Go Back, offered just what I needed in this new season of life. Dr. Cloud talks about ten life lessons that we need to follow. He proposes that once we have really learned these lessons we won't go back to our old ways. Here are a few of them...

Never again...

Return to what hasn't worked.

Believe that you can please everyone. {I need to read this one daily!!}

Take your eyes off the big picture.

Fail to ask why you are where you are.

All I can say is I wished I had read this book and followed what it said YEARS ago. I would have saved myself so much heartache. I can't express to you totally how mind changing this book is. It probably needs to be one of those reads that I pick up once a year and review. As a human being, I have the nagging problem of quickly forgetting sound advice...the type of advice Dr. Cloud's book offers. So instead of going through the details of this book let me leave you with a few snippets of wisdom {in picture form} from its pages...

It's time to never go back!

How to Handle Everyone

Last week I attended a funeral...of a young man who passed away too early. What incredible heartbreak lingered there in the memorial service! The brokenness hung heavy in the room. His mom got up to speak and told us that her son would always say to her, "Everyone is doing the best that they can. Treat everyone as if they have a broken heart."

What words of wisdom! Do we all not walk around with brokenness? It could be a divorce. A friend dying of cancer. The loss of a job. The loss of a relationship. Rejection. Family dysfunction. We all carry heartache. Even those who seem to have a rough exterior. The brash. The harsh. The mean ones...sometimes they are the most broken. The one who looks like they have it all together? He or she is the one who may be falling apart. You just never know the burden of another, because we excel in disguising our pain.

We need to treat others as if they are carrying a broken heart, but how?

Assume the best. Many times we look at others' actions and judge them without knowing their hearts. We make false assumptions about what their intentions were, but the truth is, we can never know the heart of another. We can't totally understand what makes him or her do what they do. We have no idea what lead him or her to this place and those actions. So the only thing to do is assume the best. 

Dole out grace. We all want grace, but have a hard time giving it. We want people to judge us on our intentions instead of what we actually did. We desire the benefit of the doubt all the while doubting the person beside us. Grace says, "You may not deserve this kind treatment, but I am going to give it anyways." Withhold judgment. Speak a kind word. Let it go.

Love them from afar. There are drastic times when you actually have to handle with care YOUR heart. You are the fragile one who needs the strength to walk away. Sometimes the best way to handle another is to have some distance. I know this sounds so counter to giving them grace and assuming the best, but I have found that when a situation or person becomes toxic it is best to get out for their sake and yours. It does you and the other person no good to stay in something in which you will only break each other more. Oftentimes, the way to handle a broken heart is to let it go.

We all carry a broken heart. Let's handle each other with care.

Joseph by Terri Fivash

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My favorite Bible story...the one that I come back to again and again. Joseph. Not the one wed to Mary, but rather the one sold by his siblings into slavery. I get Joseph. His life, as strange as it was, makes sense to me. Why? Because he and I share something in common. We are/were both outcasts who had to take an unexpected journey on the road to forgiveness.

Joseph's story is one of betrayal, heartache, jealousy, and eventually reconciliation. In thirteen chapters (the longest of the patriarchal stories), God lays out an example of how we should interact with those how have hurt us deeply. It covers what to do when you are taken someplace you don't want to go, how to set up boundaries with those that are unsafe, and most importantly, how to forgive.




Recently, I picked up a historical fiction novel about Joseph's life by Terri Fivash. Oh my! Her retelling of the story opened my eyes to the ordeal Joseph went through and gave me food for thought. Now granted, this is historical fiction and we don't know all the details, but Terri gives a glimpse  into the process Joseph may have gone through to get to the point of forgiving his brothers. She also brings up points in the life of Joseph that I would never have thought of...like how his life may have been in danger because he was a foreigner ruling in Egypt!

If you are looking for a great way to dive deep into the story or Joseph or if you are on your own unexpected and unwanted journey to forgive someone, I would highly recommend Terri's book! There is also a Bible study on Joseph that would go along great with this historical fiction novel,Joseph: The Journey to Forgiveness by Melissa Spoelstra. Check it out!