The Benefits of Harsh Words

Harsh condemning words on paper. Judgment delivered via e-mail. Vague Facebook comments meant to sting. And every single one of them were some of the best gifts I have ever received!

Most people wouldn't put critical comments on the top of their Christmas lists. We, as human beings, will try whatever is in our power to avoid pain. Who wants to be looked down upon? Treated with disdain? Seen as a target? And yet, they can become gifts if we let them. How can criticism become a blessing? {By the way, I am not speaking about constructive criticism, but rather the mean-spirited, angry version.} How can we see criticism in a new light? What good can it possibly do us to be verbally beaten down? While I am not saying that ugly, judgmental words are good events in our lives, I do believe that God can use them for our good.

Criticism can make us run to Christ. People's ugly words made me run to the feet of Christ. Oh how desperately I needed to know I was still loved...I was not totally rejected. I have never fought so hard to understand how deeply He loves until I was confronted with the condemning words of others. My relationship with God has grown in ways it never would have if everyone had been loving and gracious.

Criticism can show us Whose opinion really matters. It doesn't matter what their assessment is of you. As hard as it is to swallow, the only opinion of you that matters is His. Severe criticism has the potential to strip away the fear of man. Nowadays, I care less what others think about me because I have seen how people can't really judge our hearts. Only God knows who we really are.

Criticism can strengthen a soul. What made me weak and emotionally raw at the beginning eventually strengthened me. Harsh words gave me the power to stand on my own two feet. There is a strength that comes from journeying through a hell of people's judgments to only come out on the other side knowing you have survived. It takes time, but the critical comments can create fortitude.

Are you struggling with relational angst and need some resources to heal? Check out these books on healing.