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After more than a year in a new place I still feel disconnected. When you leave a church after a quarter of a century you feel lost. You don't even know who you are. You have no connections. No purpose or place in your new surroundings. You are an island separated from the mainland. You can begin to even question your value.
We walk into that new church on Sunday to have one of its pastors start talking to us. He knows my husband. He knows what my husband does. We are not even sure how or why. And for a brief moment I feel connected. For the first time in a long while I feel I have some kind of value. I am known even if it is a little bit and through association...
We come home, and I have a few quiet moments. They are moments of healing that I have been pursuing. Healing from the events that lead us to new places. Healing from hard words. Healing from condemnation that stripped me of my worth. I pick up the book I have been working on, The Healing Journey, to read another verse. To meditate on it...
But now, this is what the Lord says--He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine." Isaiah 43:1
It is then that it hits me how wrong my thinking has been. I am known. Have always been. I am valued. I am wanted. All because the God of the universe knows my name. He even calls it out. I am connected to the One who connects all things. I am loved by the One whose love knows no bounds. I am known by the One who knows all. My value is not wrapped up in the things or people of this world. I am wrapped up in Him.
Where does your value come from? It isn't a part of your job, title, connections, or physical appearance. You have only one source of worth...You have worth because God sees you as such. What others may dismiss, He embraces. What others may criticize, He commends. And when others have no idea who you are, God comes calling...
To summon you by name.
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Are you struggling to heal? To trust your Heavenly Father again after heartache? May I suggest two books by Thom Gardner, Healing the Wounded Heart: Removing Obstacles to Intimacy with God and The Healing Journey. They have been instrumental in my healing process. They may be able to help you also.
And though I may not know your name I am praying for you. May you know how much you are worth and how much you are loved.
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