A Way to Remember

Thursday, March 13, 2014

 Our pasts shape our futures.  What happened to us can develop us or destroy us.  I have been learning over the past months that remembering is a choice.  How we choose to see the past is ultimately how it will affect us.  Choose to see only the hurt and the agony and you turn into one bitter person.  Choose to see the benefits that came from an awful event and you turn into a better person.  Bitter or better is a choice.

Last year I was dismembered. Torn apart emotionally in ways I never thought possible.  What was done should not have been done.  There were forgiveness issues that I had to deal with.  Ultimately, I came to realize that in order to forgive I would need to look at what happened in the light of God's love.  I would need to "remember" the past offenses and the people involved in those offenses in a way that would point to God's love for me.   Yes, it happened.  Yes, it hurt.  But, honestly, the dismemberment was of great benefit to me. God's love oozed profusely through it all while my heart oozed the grief. He never deserted me...He was just leading me to something else.  I have learned to fear man less.  To enjoy life more.  To honor relationships like never before.  To have gratitude for the little gifts God gives in life. To be content in the moment.  To discard some of the anxieties I had been living with for decades.

It is interesting that an alternate meaning of "remember" means "to put back together".  That which was dismembered can be remembered again.  It is how we recall the past that makes all the difference. 
 Choose to remember God's love through the pain and we can be put back together again.  Choose to remember only the pain, and you remain dismembered.

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Melissa R said...

So true. With all I've been forgiven, how can I refuse to forgive those who hurt me? That doesn't mean it's easy!

I like your observation about the word "remember." I'd never heard of or thought about that.

Kristin H2O said...

Hi Debbie,
I found you through Faith Barista. Forgiveness is such a hot mess, I think. We know, in our hearts, that in order to heal and grow, we MUST forgive. I, too, have some things I have held on to for too long and I need to RELEASE them ( that's my 2014 word- so appropriate!) for my spiritual, mental and physical health. I am looking for the silver linings and rewinding my life ( in words) too see how God has shaped my path for His glory.
Thank you for talking about the need to forgive and the need to see the positive from the offense.
With a grateful heart,

Sita said...

Debbie, this is what God has been showing me recently through Nouwen's writings and also reflecting on Jesus' journey down the Via Dolorosa. He knew what lay ahead, the untold pain, but He resolutely walked head-on into it, straight to the Cross. Beyond that Cross was resurrection. Freedom for us to now be redeemed and restored to the Father.
Nouwen says we try to distract ourselves from our pain but we need to walk into it, work through it, with Him. Only then can we be free of its tentacles.
Great post. Thank you.

Trudy said...

Wow, Debbie. I love this idea of choosing to remember the pain only through God's love. The remembering this way being a "putting back together." So beautiful. Love the quote, too. Thanks so much for sharing this today!

Debbie P said...

Thank you for stopping by! Love hearing what you gals have to say about forgiveness! Food for thought for sure!