One Another {Think On These Things}

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If anyone says, "I love God", and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love this brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.  {I John 4:20-21}

If I were to pick the hardest concept out of God's Word it wouldn't be about the end times or the laws of the Old Testament or even the mystery of the virgin birth. No. The hardest part of the Bible has to do with how we treat others. The concept is simple enough on the surface, but the execution of it is near impossible at times like when you are faced with that exasperating family member or that "frenemy". Back in December I wrote out the book of I John, which discusses over and over again the need to love others. The above verses hit me. This is the hardest thing to fulfill when it comes to God's Word...and yet, it is the crux of all of the teachings brought forth. We are to love God; however, we can't love Him unless we love others. We are to love others, but that is undoable without loving the Creator. It's a catch-22. 

So as we head into February let's focus on how we can love others. The New Testament is filled with "one another" verses which describe how (and how not) to treat others. Let's write out the verses and think about how we can change with way we interact with others. As an optional activity, throughout the month make a list of all the actions we are to do and not to do to others as you go through the below verses. Below you will find the link to download the file, a little bit about our IG community, and suggested resources to get started writing out God's Word. 

Let's love one another!

You can download the file HERE!

If you would like all the Think on These Things verses or want to know more about it, click here.

Instagram

During the month I try to post my thoughts on the verses on Instagram. If you would like to follow me you can find me here. Also, if you are posting your own thoughts there please use the hashtag #thinkonthesethings. I would love to read how God speaks to you!!

Supplies

There are many ways you can use these verses. You can read and meditate on them. You can write them out as you meditate on them. You can read them and then write about them in a journal or journaling Bible. You could do verse mapping with them (See this post). Here are some of the items I use...

A single column journaling Bible...

ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (TruTone, Chestnut, Leaves Design)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Black)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Brown, Flap with Strap)

Some highlighters {These are my absolute favorites!}...

Eco Highlighter Pencils - Set of 5 Colors

Black pens...

Black Ink Pen Set

I love these journals that lay flat...easier to write in! They are great for Scripture writing!
Studio Oh! Deconstructed Journals

Let's Think On These Things!

Living Loved {Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst}

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"Rejection. It's a pattern in your life. You will have to fight it to overcome it", popped on my iPhone screen. I knew her text and her analysis of me was right. She wasn't condemning me. She wasn't saying I would be stuck there forever. She was stating the facts. It would mean I would have to fight. Fight to heal. Fight to be whole again. Fight to not be afraid of the one thing I was afraid of the most: People. Oh, how she was right!

There are days I go to the mailbox and can scarcely open its tiny, creaky door. I don't want to look inside, because I have found rejection and hurt hide in its metal walls. And then there are other days where electronic mail is hard to open even though it means just touching my finger to the screen. I simply can't do it. I cringe as if half expecting a monster to jump out at me. You see most of my rejection came in the form of written words delivered to my inbox and and to the little white tube with the squeaking door in my front yard.

I wasn't good enough. I didn't know how to make the right decisions. I was mean. I was not a good (fill in the blank). I was unforgiving. I had a bad "aura". I was unworthy to be around others....All these words written and more. No wonder I have a hate relationship with any device where mail is deposited. It's too much. Those boxes don't hold mail for me. They hold my shattered heart.

I have fought it long and hard. Can I say most days are good? I have a husband who loves me. A great relationship with each of my sons. Deep friendships. Family that has been with me through thick and thin. I am loved. Then there are the days I can't fight the obvious...there are places in my past where love couldn't be found. And though I searched for it and longed for it, the fact is it will not show up in my mailbox. This is where acceptance of myself is hard...when you know you are not worthy of love in someone's eyes.

Three years ago I decided I didn't need a mailbox to show me love, and my inbox was a pathetic way to feel secure. I needed to be looking for other letters. Ones written long ago, by Someone who truly knew me with all my flaws and said, "I will always love you." I bought myself a journaling Bible and began the search for the love that would not fail me. Who needs affirmation and adoration from mere mortals when you can have the Creator of the universe always there by your side? I would stick with the love letter He wrote me. My goal was to live loved regardless of how I had actually lived!

One day on Facebook, the title popped up. The words made my heart stop: uninvited, less than, lonely, left out...LIVING LOVED. I had to order this book! So last weekend, I went out to my sworn enemy, the mailbox, and found what I had been waiting for... Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa Terkeurst. I spent this week reading in tears hiding them from those around me. Her book undid me.

I am sure you all are like me. In fact, I got a glimmer of it last week as I scanned Facebook, Instagram, and other social media. You have lived rejection. Women all over were popping up saying they so wanted to read it. They didn't have to say why. I knew. They had lived rejected, but desperately wanted to live loved. I could almost feel the ache through the screen.

You know it's bad when you begin reading and can't finish a sentence, because you are having to highlight it. Then you need to write some of them out to ward off the forgetfulness in your brain. These nuggets of truth are too valuable to lose. Lysa's book looks at all angles of the dreaded "R" word. Rejection is a spider's web entwined with the shame of who you are, the need for forgiveness for the one who rejected, the fear of history repeating itself, and the hope of measuring up...one day. Lysa deals with each facet with the heart of one rejected. Turns out she one of us.

I don't even know where to start to organize my thoughts on the PRACTICAL advice she gives to battle that left out feeling. There are questions to ask yourself, verses to help you change your perspective on what was done to you, and even the suggestion of praying Psalm 91 back to God as you heal from rejection. One of the mind-reforming thoughts is to realize that rejection has another level to it. It all depends on how you view what happened.  We may feel that we have been set aside by others when in reality we have be set apart by God to walk a different road from those who rejected us. Other times, rejection is actually a form of protection from something even more grievous.

If you are struggling with the fact that you don't fit in or have been kick out, Lysa's book will help you work towards healing those bleeding parts of your heart. Also, because it has been such a theme in my life you will find below several posts on the subject. If you are reading this, I am praying for you. I know the pain and ache for you. Read the posts below. Order the book...you know, sometimes good things arrive in mailboxes...

Surviving Rejection: What Grandma Taught Me
Dealing with Rejection
Seven Verses for Dealing with Rejection
Journaling to Remember His Love

To "One Another" One Another (Confessing)

I have been exploring how to "one another" one another.  The way Christians treat other Christians should identify us.  Yet, sadly, there are many times when we fail in treating others with love and respect. The failures are inevitable this side of heaven.  We are not perfect people.  That is why there is this verse...

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.  James 5:16

We are all going to step on toes.  We are all going to mess up at one point or another. So why does God ask us to confess our sins one to another? So that we may be healed.  Healed as individuals and healed in our relationships with one another. Think about it...when you confess to someone and own it you are less likely to do that same behavior again because your sin is "public" (at least with you and that other person).  When you confess you also break down walls.

A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city;    disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.  Proverbs 18:19

I will never forget the apology that I received years ago from a friend.  She called to right a misunderstanding.  The humility and confession that came out of her was incredible.  And the irony?  Her humility caused her to grow in my eyes.  That status has never changed.  I will always look back on how she wholeheartedly confessed and apologized.  In one fell swoop she broke down a wall between us.

Confession is good for the soul.  It keeps us from sinning again and restores our relationships. What do we need to confess today and to whom?

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Regarding Others)

This month I have been talking about how we can "one another" one another. 

How do you look at others?  Do you see their faults more than their attributes?  Do you look down on others?  Do you treat others with disrespect? We all struggle with looking at others in the proper manner.  The way we regard others is how we treat them.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;  Philippians 2:3

We are selfish which ultimately translates into wanting our way.  Selfishness means that we see our views, concerns, and agenda as more important than anyone else's.  It can be hard to get out of that mindset. Putting others first is one way we can "one another" one another. It is what Christ did on the cross.  He puts us first instead of Himself.  The irony is that He Is First!  But He laid down that title and the entitlement and thought of how He could help us in our lowly state. As you look around at the others you come into contact with today, is there a way you can honor them and regard them as more important than yourself?  Can you be more severe on your own faults and gracious with the faults of others? These are not easy tasks, but Christ was a master at them.  Today I am asking God to change my views of others, so that my treatment of them will change, too.

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Forgiving)

How we treat our fellow Christians is beyond important!  Jesus even talked about it in Matthew 5 when He said, 

²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

It is as if He puts the status of our relationships above our worship of Him.  Not that that is exactly the case. But God does say that if we can't love our brothers then we don't love Him {I John 4:20}.  If we break a relationship with another we have first broken it with Him. 

Broken relationships are a part of life here on earth.  We will all be hurt at one point or another.  We will all hurt someone else, too. That is why Christ calls us to...

 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We need to forgive.  It is the only way to live free in a world of hurt.  Unforgiveness has terrible consequences...bitterness being its worse offspring.  A bitter person is angry, hostile, and not easy to get along with. If you are struggling with unforgiveness there are lots of resources to help.  You can start by looking at my series, 31 Days of Forgiveness.  Throughout these posts are ideas, scriptures, books and encouragement to help you through the process of forgiveness.  It is never easy to forgive.  But we are most like Jesus when we do!

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Bearing Burdens)

This month I am exploring how we "one another" one another. Check out the link for other posts.

Life is hard.  We each carry a heavy burden.  For some it may be a sickness or a disability.  For others a personality trait that makes relationships difficult.  And for some there are financial struggles. Or maybe there is a mental illness looming large. Sometimes the burden is a repetitive sin.  But the bottom line is that we all carry a weight.

 

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

The Greek word used in the above verse for "burden" is "baros" which means "load".  How does one make a load lighter?  It is simple.  You share it.  When I lived in Argentina it wasn't uncommon to see two people carrying the same bag down the street. Grocery shopping was done almost every day and you would normally shop in a local store and walk home with your food.  If you were with someone (a family member or friend), you would take one of the handles and the other person would take the second handle to carry home the groceries. You would share the load.  That is what Christ asks us to do for our fellow believers. Everyone's life is hard and by carrying the burden for another we can ease the pain whatever it may be.  

How do we bear one another's burdens?

-By restoring them gently when they struggle with sin (See Galatians 6:2)

-By praying for them. 

-By giving words of encouragement

-By checking in on them to see how they are doing

-By loving on them

  

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Serving)

{How are we to "one another" one another? What does it mean to really love one another? If you follow my blog you know that this month I am focusing on some of the "one another" commands.  To see the full series, click here.}

Servanthood.  Not a favorite word among humans!  No one really clamors to be a servant.  And nine times out of ten when a person does it is because they want something in return. Being a servant without anything in return is normally not what we sign up for. There is no glamor in servanthood. Yet, Christ asks us to put others first and serve them.

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  Galatians 5:13

The word "serve" in Galatians 5:13 is "douleo" which comes from "doulos" meaning "slave".  God is asking us to be slaves to others.  This sounds even less appealing than a servant. But God knows that we are all in bondage.  It is just a matter of to whom or what. We can be a slave to sin (i.e. be wrapped up in ourselves) or we can use our freedom from sin to go outside of ourselves and serve those around us.  So while it may not be pretty or easy, serving others brings more rewards than serving ourselves.  Think of this illustration: Take a stuffed animal and wrap it in Saran wrap.  What happens?  It gets smaller.  Being wrapped up in ourselves makes our lives small. It takes away our freedom. Ultimately, serving only ourselves leaves us lifeless.

In serving others, we become bonded to them.  Remember service is slavery.  Slavery is bondage.  While all that sounds icky, serving others is not the type of bondage that we should avoid.  Service brings us into relationship with others.  And God knows that we need relationships in order to survive.  He is all about the relationship and us being connected. Service makes life large, full, and joyous.

This week I am looking for opportunities to serve those around me.  Will you join me? 

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Admonishing)

We are to "one another" one another as Christians. We are to love one another, serve one another, be patient with one another, etc. This month I have been exploring what "one anothering" really entails. I want to really be able to love God and love others.  Loving others can be challenging because we are all different and let's face it we are ALL difficult!

I have been pondering this verse mainly because it isn't one of those "one another" commands that we focus on much.  Frankly, it is one that most of us don't like to do.

And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another. Romans 15:14

To admonish one another. What does that exactly mean?  I looked up the word "admonish" in a dictionary and online in several places to get an idea of what it really entails.  Admonish means "to put or place in the mind" or "to warn gently".  Honestly, this isn't fun.  What if the other person rejects me for warning them?  What if I create bad feelings or a rift because I warn?  But I think we can admonish each other as long as it is covered in love.  If I am heading down a wrong path I would want someone to warn me.  If I am in a place of sin I would want someone that sees it to tell me.  We admonish our kids because we love them.  We need to do it with each other also.

I have seen where this concept of admonishing has worked in my life and the lives of others.  My husband and I admonish each other, and I have a couple of friends that I feel safe enough with to admonish them and they can admonish me. What a blessing when someone corrects us in love!  It is an act of love to warn and guide another away from sin.  If it is done right it isn't about condemning the other person, but rather it is a way to show your care and concern for another.  If our hearts are right (in that we truly want to help another person escape the effects of sin), then an admonishment is really love.

Are you willing to take the risk to warn another so that they don't step into something that will hurt them?  Are you brave enough to take a warning from another?

Let's admonish one another not because we are self-righteous or because we have a need to condemn.  Let's admonish one another to save them from the consequences of sin.

Let's "one another" one another because...

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Building Up)

There are about 59 commands in the New Testament that speak to how we are to treat each other.  They are the "one another" commands.  For the month of September (on Thursdays and Fridays) I will be exploring some of what God calls us to do for each other.

So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Romans 14:19

Building.  It takes more effort than destroying.  Building takes planning and work.  Destroying can happen in an instant. We are called to build each other up. Not tear each other down. Here are a few ideas on how to build others up:

1. Be careful with your speech.  Probably the place we tear others down the most is in what we say to them. We need to speak encouragement and kindness into the lives of others.

2. Promote peace. We may not always agree, but we can still honor others even if they don't agree with us.

3. Be intentional about building others up.  Human nature tends to neglect or tear down those around us.  We are (because of our sin nature) selfish.  We need to seek opportunities to build each other up. Remembering birthdays, special anniversaries, or events in another person's life is one way to encourage them. Remembering to pray for them (and telling them that you are) is another way.  Look for opportunities to praise one another.

4. Carry another's sorrows and joys. God calls us to rejoice with those who are rejoicing.  He also wants us to share in others' sorrows.  I will never forget the time a friend cried over the fact that I had miscarried. It spoke volumes that she would be so concerned.

5. Give grace to others in their weaknesses.  After all, aren't we all weak in some area?

 
Build each other up because...

They will know us by our love.

To "One Another" One Another (Not Judging)

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  John 13:35

We are known as Christians by how we treat other Christians.  An interesting concept.  You would think that God would have said you will be known by...

-how you treat non-Christians

-how you worship

-how you give to the poor

-how you sacrifice yourself for a cause

  

But Christ wants us instead to "one another" one another.  For the month of September (on Thursdays and Fridays) I will be pondering how He asks us to do this.  To be honest this is a tough subject for me.  I have failed in this area and many have failed me.  But it is worth looking at if we are going to follow Him.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.  Romans 14:13

Judging is a hard concept, and yet we are experts at it!  God does encourage us to be discerning and wise in our relationships with people. He asks us to not associate with angry people or those that would lead us astray. So we are supposed to look at others carefully.  However, He asks us not to judge.  How is judging different from discerning?

 The word "discern" comes from the Greek word "krino" which basically means to separate. When we discern we are simply separate in our mind what is good and what is evil.  "Katakrino" is the Greek word for judging.  It means to condemn.  When we judge we have an attitude and not a good one at that! We tell God, "Move over. I am in the Judge's seat. I will decide that this person gets what is coming to him/her."  It tends to be an angry way of looking at people or rather looking down on them. 

Although we may see a person's actions we don't know her heart.  Only God sees the big picture.  Only He knows where her heart stands. We are not God.  And to push Him out of His courtroom is a pretty bold thing to do. Judgment lacks grace in every case when we are the ones doling it out.

When we judge others we block them (look up at the verse again).  Because judgment is condemnation we can kill someone's spirit.  We can block them from flourishing.  Think about it.  When have you been judged?  Have you felt beaten down?  If the judgment was bad enough maybe you felt like you just couldn't go on because another person's condemnation seemed too mountainous to overcome?

We know how much it hurts to be judged. So let us commit to not doing it to others.

They will know us by our love.

When We "One Another" One Another...

It is the hallmark of a Christian.  That one thing that shows who we really are.  I hate to admit it, but I have failed the test.  I am pretty sure that if you call yourself a Christian you have too.  None of us does it perfectly.  We all fail in how we "one another" one another.

What is "one anothering"? Simply put it is that list of commands that Christ asks us to do for one another.   Most are found in the New Testament.  You know the list..."love one another, be kind to one another, forgive one another".  Christ is adamant that is is our one anothering of one another that marks us as Christians...

By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35

When we treat each other as we should it is a sure sign that we are His.  Yet, so many times we fail in this regard. I know that I have failed others, and that other Christians have definitely not "one anothered" me. This year has brought me to my knees.  A tough one in which I am learning the importance of one anothering others.  Join me for the next few Thursdays and Fridays in September as I touch on some of the behaviors that Christ calls us to do for each other.  Here is a sneak peak at what I will be exploring when it comes to "one anothering":

 Don't judge one another

  Build up one another

Admonish one another

 Serve one another

Bear one another's burdens

Be kind and forgive one another

Regard one another as more important than yourself

Confess your sins to one another