Three Ways to Overcome Rejection

Monday, February 29, 2016

She never sat me down and told me how to survive it. We never even talked about it. There was no formal lesson. No teaching. No preaching. She just lived her life, and from it I learned one of my greatest lessons... 

At around the age of two, her mother died leaving her father with two young children. Her dad decided to keep her brother. He didn't want her. Girls on a ranch or farm are of no use. At least, that was the thought back then. She would be raised by family...but not by her father.

{Grandma Jessie}

How did she survive the rejection of a parent who didn't want her? How did she overcome those icky feelings of not being wanted? What do you do when the ones that are supposed to love you walk out the door or simply don't know how to love? My grandma Jessie would tell you...

There are always gap fillers. There were people in my grandma's life that filled in the gaps. Relatives that stepped in and raised her. People that loved on her. What she lacked in a father and a mother was filled with others. I, myself, have had gap fillers. While I have experienced loss of relationship and rejection by others, there have been still others who come along side and fill my love tank. Rejection is rarely "TOTAL". While one may not love you there are others that will.

Know that you are loved. I never sensed in my grandma that she believed that she was unloved. Sure, there is the strong possibility that I was too young to see it. Not wise enough. But I didn't see the struggle. I am sure it was there, but I only saw a vibrant woman full of joy. Sure, there were hard times, but for the most part my grandma lived as if she were loved. Because she was. Her self-esteem was intact. One of the greatest ways to overcome the pain of rejection is to know you are loved. For me, it was going to God and understanding that no matter what others did to me it wasn't a reflection of what He thought of me. He loves me like crazy. 

Love conquers all, even rejection. How do I know that my grandma felt loved even though she never really talked about it? You could see it in the way she treated others. Was she perfect? No. Who is? But the one big takeaway from watching her life was how she loved on others. She didn't care what your background was or how you got to her doorstep. She was gracious and open to all. All those growing up years watching her love on others knowing full well there had been times in her life she wasn't loved had a profound effect on me. She taught me that love is stronger than the hurt dealt you. Overcoming rejection means you have the strength to give what wasn't given to you. You dole out love. It gushes because you know the pain of the opposite scenario.

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