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"Rejection. It's a pattern in your life. You will have to fight it to overcome it", popped on my iPhone screen. I knew her text and her analysis of me was right. She wasn't condemning me. She wasn't saying I would be stuck there forever. She was stating the facts. It would mean I would have to fight. Fight to heal. Fight to be whole again. Fight to not be afraid of the one thing I was afraid of the most: People. Oh, how she was right!
There are days I go to the mailbox and can scarcely open its tiny, creaky door. I don't want to look inside, because I have found rejection and hurt hide in its metal walls. And then there are other days where electronic mail is hard to open even though it means just touching my finger to the screen. I simply can't do it. I cringe as if half expecting a monster to jump out at me. You see most of my rejection came in the form of written words delivered to my inbox and and to the little white tube with the squeaking door in my front yard. I wasn't good enough. I didn't know how to make the right decisions. I was mean. I was not a good (fill in the blank). I was unforgiving. I had a bad "aura". I was unworthy to be around others....All these words written and more. No wonder I have a hate relationship with any device where mail is deposited. It's too much. Those boxes don't hold mail for me. They hold my shattered heart.
I have fought it long and hard. Can I say most days are good? I have a husband who loves me. A great relationship with each of my sons. A daughter-in-law I adore. Deep friendships. Family that has been with me through thick and thin. I am loved. Then there are the days I can't fight the obvious...there are places in my past where love couldn't be found. And though I searched for it and longed for it, the fact is it will not show up in my mailbox. This is where acceptance of myself is hard...when you know you are not worthy of love in someone's eyes.
Four years ago I decided I didn't need a mailbox to show me love, and my inbox was a pathetic way to feel secure. I needed to be looking for other letters. Ones written long ago, by Someone who truly knew me with all my flaws and said, "I will always love you." I bought myself a journaling Bible and began the search for the love that would not fail me. Who needs affirmation and adoration from mere mortals when you can have the Creator of the universe always there by your side? I would stick with the love letter He wrote me. My goal was to live loved regardless of how I had actually lived!
Will you join me this month as we explore the idea of rejection in our lives? We will be an audience to the rejection that Joseph (think "coat of many colors") and Jesus experienced. We will see how to deal with it when it comes our way. We will realize that although rejection makes you feel very alone, you are not. We all go through it. See below for the verses and more information...
There are days I go to the mailbox and can scarcely open its tiny, creaky door. I don't want to look inside, because I have found rejection and hurt hide in its metal walls. And then there are other days where electronic mail is hard to open even though it means just touching my finger to the screen. I simply can't do it. I cringe as if half expecting a monster to jump out at me. You see most of my rejection came in the form of written words delivered to my inbox and and to the little white tube with the squeaking door in my front yard. I wasn't good enough. I didn't know how to make the right decisions. I was mean. I was not a good (fill in the blank). I was unforgiving. I had a bad "aura". I was unworthy to be around others....All these words written and more. No wonder I have a hate relationship with any device where mail is deposited. It's too much. Those boxes don't hold mail for me. They hold my shattered heart.
I have fought it long and hard. Can I say most days are good? I have a husband who loves me. A great relationship with each of my sons. A daughter-in-law I adore. Deep friendships. Family that has been with me through thick and thin. I am loved. Then there are the days I can't fight the obvious...there are places in my past where love couldn't be found. And though I searched for it and longed for it, the fact is it will not show up in my mailbox. This is where acceptance of myself is hard...when you know you are not worthy of love in someone's eyes.
Four years ago I decided I didn't need a mailbox to show me love, and my inbox was a pathetic way to feel secure. I needed to be looking for other letters. Ones written long ago, by Someone who truly knew me with all my flaws and said, "I will always love you." I bought myself a journaling Bible and began the search for the love that would not fail me. Who needs affirmation and adoration from mere mortals when you can have the Creator of the universe always there by your side? I would stick with the love letter He wrote me. My goal was to live loved regardless of how I had actually lived!
Will you join me this month as we explore the idea of rejection in our lives? We will be an audience to the rejection that Joseph (think "coat of many colors") and Jesus experienced. We will see how to deal with it when it comes our way. We will realize that although rejection makes you feel very alone, you are not. We all go through it. See below for the verses and more information...
If you would like all the Think on These Things verses or want to know more about it, click here. To read about the benefits of Scripture writing, see this post.
During the month I try to post my thoughts on the verses on Instagram. If you would like to follow me you can find me here. Also, if you are posting your own thoughts there please use the hashtag #thinkonthesethings. I would love to read how God speaks to you!!
Supplies
There are many ways you can use these verses. You can read and meditate on them. You can write them out as you meditate on them. You can read them and then write about them in a journal or journaling Bible. You could do verse mapping with them (See this post). Here are some of the items I use...
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (TruTone, Chestnut, Leaves Design)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Black)
ESV Single Column Journaling Bible (Brown, Flap with Strap)
Some highlighters {These are my absolute favorites!}...
Eco Highlighter Pencils - Set of 5 Colors
Black pens are great for writing out the verses...
Black Ink Pen Set
Black Artist Pen Set
I love these journals that lay flat...easier to write in! They are great for Scripture writing!
Studio Oh! Deconstructed Journals
Let's Think On These Things!
5 comments:
Gracias Debbie por estos desafios mensuales.
Enero esta lleno de esperanzas y promesas preciosas y sabemos que todas ellas en Jesús son Si y Amén
El Señor esta preparando nuestros corazones con su palabra poderosa para que de una vez y para siempre comprendamos que en EL no hay rechazo ni abandono..
Somos amadas e inmensamente valiosas a sus ojos. Nada de lo que nos sucedio, nos sucede y nos sucederá escapa a su mirada y su permiso.
Nuestra mente lo sabe. Y ahora necesitamos que por la gracia y el poder de su Espíritu Santo esta verdad se anide en nuestros corazones, dando fruto y quitando toda maleza y oscuridad. ♥
Bendecido dia para vos
Ileana- Me encanta lo que escribiste!!
Looking forward to your studies!
Sue~ Makeitplainontablets on I.G.
Hi Debbie, Did your scripture writing for January and loved it. It kept me focused on a morning devotion time for the first time in my life. Looking forward to February. Blessings on you for your diligence in serving the Lord.
Hi there, just wanted to mention, I liked this blog post.
It was practical. Keep on posting!
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