Four Ways to Throw an Awesome Pity Party

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

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A normal Sunday with no REAL drama left me filled with angst. My schedule wasn't working out the way I had hoped. People wanted things from me I couldn't provide at that moment. Past hurts sprang up unexpectedly. I was feeling lonely, left out, and unloved. So I took a walk thinking some exercise would quell the waves thrashing about in my soul. However, if you know me, it only takes a short walk around the block of negative thinking for me to dive head first into an ocean of depression. I am susceptible to it. I have to be totally careful in my thought life to not spiral downward. By the time, I was done with my walk I  realized I had been the creator and hostess of my own pity party.  So, in case you too ever want to throw yourself an awesome gathering of  negativity here's how to get started:

Focus on your less-than-perfect circumstances. Look for how things have gone poorly. Life isn't perfect. If you could, you would change your circumstances. You can't, however. Hence, let the party planning commence.

Focus on what you don't have. One of the quickest ways to feel sorry for yourself? List what you don't have in life. The position you wanted. The admiration you didn't get. The love that passed you by. The money that slipped through your fingers. Make a list...not a guest list of people you hope will show, but a list of what DIDN'T show up in your life.

Be impatient. Patience is a virtue we rarely enjoy displaying. We want EVERYTHING fixed now. We want perfection. Never mind that if we would just wait things out many of them would fall into place. Impatience breeds pity and negativity so be sure that it is a part of the festivities.

Watch others' lives. All you have to do is look to all that others have and are. Be sure to focus on the benefits they have that your DON'T. They lived charmed lives without the pain you have to go through, right? They are better looking, richer, nicer, and more successful. Check out their Facebook wall...proof that they have it better than you do! Whatever you do, make sure you invite them to your party! You'll be glad they came!

As I finished my walk, I realized how shallow and self-focused I had been. The heartache I was feeling came from my negative thought patterns not from the reality of a bad life. I had taken my eyes off all the good in my life in order to feel sorry for myself. It was time to go back home, open up my gratitude journal, write down all those blessings, and put a damper on my pity party with thankfulness.

How about you? Each day we have a choice...throw a party or walk away from it...

I think I am going to take a walk...this time to focus on all the good in my life.


Luke Holzmann said...

This is a good reminder.

One of the things that often frustrates me the most is that I have things in my life that are good, but I don't know how to use them well; so what should be a blessing feels more like a curse (or, at best, a monstrous weight). I resonate too easily with the servant in the parable who is given money to manage and buries it in the ground because he's afraid he'll lose it. I don't know how to take the blessings God has showered on me and multiple them, so I feel like I'm just holing them up somewhere. It's really hard for me to be grateful when I feel like a failure because of my blessings. Related: That passage that says, "To whom much is given, much is expected." That kills me.

The thing I think I should do with these things is put them back at the feet of Jesus. "Thank You for giving me this blessing, but I don't know what to do with it. Please give me wisdom and direction..." but even that feels like a cop-out.


Debbie P said...

Luke- Yes, sometimes we don't know what to do with what we have been given. I think that the type of prayer you mentioned is an awesome way to deal with it. Just lay those blessings at His feet and allow Him to guide.