How to Fall Apart

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"But there comes a time when it takes more faith to fall apart with Jesus than to stay strong enough to stop it from happening."   Finding Spiritual Whitespace by Bonnie Gray

I open the envelope and immediately feel the trembling. I know what's coming. Emotionally I stuff it down as I read the ugly words, but my body doesn't. The shaking grows in intensity because the fear knows the drill. Read the ugly words. Go Numb. Get Angry. Dwell in sadness. Then try to pick up the broken pieces of a heart. It is the cycle I have had to live for years. I would try to stop the panic. I would try to not show the sorrow. I would try to stay strong, but the more I held it together the more I fell apart.

These days I would rather fall apart with Jesus. I can fall apart in front of Him and not worry about what others will think of me. I can let my true emotions show because He is not hurt or shocked by them.  I can stopping trying to hold it together and know He holds me together. I am learning that when others reject me it's my cue to go to that "lonely place" to meet with Him and only Him. The more time I spend with Him the more He holds me together.

Here are some ways to fall apart and meet Him...

Time in His Word. For me, this can be so many activities. Listening to a sermon online. Reading through a book of the Bible {I am currently reading through the minor prophets}. Memorizing God's Word. Doing a word study on a specific theme, like the verses of Hope I have been sharing here. There are a plethora of ways to go about it.

Prayer. This is not something I always sit down to do. I talk to God throughout my day no matter what I am doing. Prayer sets my heart at peace when the anxiety hits. I may have to constantly give over my angst to God to make it through the day. Prayers can also be written or you can pray God's Word back to Him. This is where I can really fall apart and give Him all my emotions. He can handle it.

Journaling through words and art. As I read God's Word I write down my thoughts about it. I also do a Scripture art journal when I have more time on my hands. It is a time to focus on a short passage of God's Word and create with color. To me I find this activity extremely healing even though I don't get to do it often.

Be Alone. Alone time is crucial if you are falling apart. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with group Bible studies or fellowship with other Christians, we all need time alone with God. Time to listen to Him. Time to focus on who He is. There is no substitute for one-on-one time with Him.

So how do you fall apart and spend time with Him to help you get through the day?

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