Five Ways to Make Peace with the Past

Thursday, January 15, 2015



If you have visited my blog in the past few years and spent any time here, you know I have struggled with healing. I want to be whole. I have fought for it. I have prayed for it. Along the way, I have learned some valuable lessons. How do you make peace with your past when all you are are broken pieces? How to put yourself together when you can't hold it together? How do you heal and walk whole again? I am convinced I don't know all the answers. Healing is in a sense a mystery to me, but I have found some actions and attitudes that help...

Give God the broken pieces. Last year I wrote a post how to make peace with your past by giving God your broken pieces. At the beginning of healing that is about all you can do. Sometimes brokenness can be so severe you can't pull it together. You just need to hand it over to the One who knows you better than you know yourself.

Own your piece. I have to say that "owning your junk" is the hardest part of healing. As human beings we have an aversion to admitting that what we have done is less than perfect. Sometimes we justify it by rationalizing that we are only 10% or 30% at fault. Or sometimes our piece is so big {think 90%} we can't even begin to own it. The only way to be at peace though is to own your piece of the problem. Have you had a hard heart towards someone? Did you hurt them with your words or actions? Did you lie? Did you harbor jealousy? Whatever it is, own it! And owning it means that you confess it to the one you trespassed against. "Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." {James 5:16} Apologize. Don't justify your actions. 

Let go of the pieces. Forgiveness is never easy, but it is the only way out. By letting go of another's hurtful actions we can be free. We can begin to heal. Send them to "Jesus Jail". Let God deal with their sin. He knows their hearts. He sees the big picture and knows what they need. Forgiveness is a process, but make it the goal no matter how long it takes. It goes against human nature to forgive, but it really is the only way of being released from the pain.

Accept the pieces given. For me, one of the most healing things I have done is to ACCEPT. Accept the pieces of my broken past. They are a part of my existence now. To fight to try to get rid of what has already happened only makes it worse. The more I wanted the past to change the worse the anguish. Not that it is easy to accept the pain. Once again it is a process, but accepting the pain for what it is makes the pain go away. I know...it makes no sense, but it works.

Be grateful that one day the pieces will make a beautiful picture. All those broken pieces will make a bigger picture some day. Isn't that what mosaics are all about? Take the shards to create a stunning work of art. Hold out for the art. Wait for God to make beauty from ashes. In the meantime, thank Him for how He is working in your life. List the good that you already see coming out of the heartache. Even if you can't see the big picture yet, rest in the fact that God is not finished with the masterpiece that is your life.

Need more resources for healing? Here are some posts that might help:

2 comments:

Jen Saxton said...

Hey Debbie,
I clicked on you as you were the comment above me on the Beloved Brews link-up.
I love this post. My heart wasn't able to heal from the loss of my dad until I forgave a few people. Forgiveness is so powerful! Although I still feel pain, I can also see now some of the goodness God is drawing out of my journey. He is so good.

Looking forward to reading more of your lovely words!

Debbie P said...

Thank you for stopping by! Yes, forgiveness is key to any type of healing!