Betrayal is always an inside job. You can't betray a person you aren't close to. You can't betray a stranger. It is those in the inner circle that you need to worry about. Judas was in that inner circle. Close enough to cause pain. Close enough to hand Jesus over to the authorities simply because they handed him 30 pieces of silver.
Betrayal is always an inside job. A job that comes from the heart. A betrayer can look good on the outside, but it is the inside that counts. Judas was a disciple...a follower of Jesus. You don't get better credentials than that! The greatest harm comes from the deep recesses of a heart gone bad. The outside of a person tells you nothing of what is lurking on the inside.
The inside job becomes the outside job when the heart of the betrayer reveals itself...
So how do we deal with those on the inside of our lives who hurt us? Here are some concepts that God has been teaching me...
-Be discerning about your inner circle. If you see warning signs (a critical spirit, selfishness, jealousy) repeatedly in a person, then you need to "love them with a long-handled spoon". Love them, but don't give them your heart.
-Realize that betrayal is a part of life. If Jesus was betrayed, you probably won't escape it either. Jesus understands what it feels like. Accept it and run to Him for comfort. The more you fight it...the worse it becomes.
-Give yourself time to heal from betrayal. It can take a long time. But through the healing process make forgiveness your goal. Reconciliation may not be possible (because that takes two people). Reconciliation may be an unwise move with an unhealthy person, but you can always forgive. It takes time, but it will be the best medicine for healing.
-If you are betrayed, learn from it. Ask God what He wants you to get out of the experience. Does He want you to be more compassionate with those that are hurting? Is He teaching you how to have better boundaries?
It is my prayer that if you have experienced betrayal and are trying to heal from it that you will go to the One that knows how it feels.