Hope and Healing {Dealing with Relational Angst}

How should we react when someone hurts us? What does our head and heart need to do to survive the emotional blows of another person? We all need to be Heart Vaders.

This post is a part of the series, Hope and Healing.

It has been eighteen months.  In February of 2013, I was dismembered.  Like a Mr. Potato Head with his parts strewn across the floor, my heart became mere pieces. So what do we do in relational angst?  When we feel like we may never be put back together again? How do we survive being in community?  We need to be Heart Vaders.

{Heart Vader}

When I was going through turmoil, a friend gave me a Valentine's Mr. Potato Head.  I use Mr. Potato Head in my Spanish classes to teach and review body parts. Soon after that my students took the various Potato Heads and created Heart Vader...a little bit of love wrapped up in the tough exterior of Darth Vader. It was this February that it occurred to me that we all need to be Heart Vader when it comes to relationships.

Be a Vader. Ok, I am not saying be evil no matter how tempted you may feel at the moment.  Returning hatred when it is dished out to you won't work. It will just create more heartache. Maybe a little bit of heavy breathing might intimidate your enemy? {On second thought, scratch that idea.}  But there is something about having a tough exterior or a thick skin when we are receiving hurt.  Wear your helmet.  In other words, don't let their words and actions penetrate your brain. {I know...easier said than done.} Take every thought captive {II Cor. 10:5}. Last year most of my hurt came in the form of written words.  I never went back to those words to read them again.  I tried {not always successfully} to strip them from my mind. They weren't something healthy to dwell on.

Be a Heart. The natural reaction when hurt is handed to us is to not open to others and let them in.  To close off your heart.  To become callous. To be bitter {Eph. 4:31}.  With the tough skin we need a soft heart.  One that can still love.  One that allows others to love us.  One that has compassion for others.  One that can take the hurt and use it for good.  To understand the damage done so that you won't do it to others.

But whatever you do...Don't be a Luke {Skywalker, that is}. A man who didn't know who his father was.  Know your Father.  Know that He is out for your good.  Know that nothing can separate you from His love. {Romans 8:35-39} It will be Him that will hold you through the hurt and help start the healing process you will desperately need.  He loves you regardless of what others may do to you.  Sink into Him.  Get to know Him. Be still and know that He is God.  Because the only way to get your wounds bandaged is to hold still.