(Un)Qualified

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Over the past fifteen years I have struggled. You see...I don't measure up. Rejection has slapped me hard in the face several times. Its blow has come from people I loved and who should have loved me. There came a point in my journey that I had to come to grips with the fact that I was not loved. I didn't meet others' standards and expectations of me. I was unqualified.

It has been a long journey towards healing. Can I just admit that I have not arrived? There are times when I am confronted with those that said I didn't measure up. The old panic comes crashing over me. Maybe I really don't matter? Am I ever going to be enough? When will I be accepted for who I am? Frankly, I don't have the answers to those questions.

I have had to search elsewhere for my acceptance. When people have rejected I have ran to the One that doesn't. I have struggled long and hard to accept the fact that people's love and/or lack of it for me has nothing to do with me. The only opinion that matters is HIS.

So earlier in the year I came across this book and the title caught my eye. {Un}Qualified. That's me! And this book was exactly what I needed to hear. I am unqualified which makes me qualified in God's eyes. Oh, how I need to hear the words written within its pages. Steven Furtick, in a humorous and honest style, lays out how we all struggle to measure up. He discusses how are weakness are sometimes strengths in disguise and how...

"God has a habit of picking people who have been passed over." and "He is perfectly comfortable with the messiness that is mankind."

Throughout the book, Steven references the life of Jacob. Frankly, Jacob is one of my least favorite characters in the Bible. Why would God pick a deceiver and a highly dysfunctional person to be the patriarch of His people? That's the point. Jacob is highly unqualified which makes it easier for God's power to shine through.

If you have struggled with your "acceptability", your weaknesses, or where you fit into His plan, {Un}Qualified would be a thought-provoking book to read.  I know I needed it. Yes, I am unqualified, and yet, He qualifies me.