A Final Word

When the Blessings Don't Stop

When you really look around, you find that blessings abound from our Heavenly Father. They never stop!


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*Starting a new Bible Study

*Understanding that the tough times may not look pretty, but we just need to push through them.
*Finally dusting the furniture!
*A great fall festival
*That in my life there is always "space for grace"
*Great costumes for the boys

*A husband that helps make cool costumes
*A warm bed on a cold night
*Crystal Lite
*A caring husband that helps out
*Movies that make me cry
*Walks in the dark with Tim and Titan

God's Word on Forgiveness

God speaks for Himself on the issue of forgiveness...

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32   

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25   

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.         I Peter 3:9     

Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. Matthew 5:44    

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13  

 

Literature that Explores Forgiveness

There is a plethora of literature out there that has forgiveness as its main theme.  Here are some of my favorite titles...

To Kill a Mockingbird: 50th Anniversary Edition
The Count of Monte Cristo (Everyman's Library)
Shadow Spinner (A Jean Karl Book)

A Tale of Two Cities

"First of all," he said, "if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view […] until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."  To Kill a Mockingbird

The Most Selfish Thing (you will ever do)

Forgiveness is downright selfish!  I know that that sounds wrong, but I can attest to the fact that it is a selfish move on our part to forgive.  Why?

"Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." {Author Unknown}

When we don't forgive we hurt only ourselves. Our offender normally doesn't suffer from our unforgiveness at least not to the extent that we do.  Sure, if we are unforgiving and show it to our offender they will feel it, but really the person who suffers the most is us.  Think about it, when you don't forgive someone they live inside your head!!  I know this from experience. They are constantly in your thoughts.  You ruminate over and over again about what they did to you or how you can get back at them.  They never leave you!  You become their prisoner even if they weren't trying to imprison you. 

God asks us to forgive, because it is for our own good! Forgiveness is for us...not for the offender. The next time we are tempted to not forgive we need to remember that is a death wish, not for the one that hurt us but for ourselves!

The Blessing of Forgiveness

"The greater the hurt, the greater the blessing that will come with forgiveness."

Total Forgiveness

Think of forgiveness as an opportunity...
to be blessed
to learn more about God's forgiveness
to learn gratitude for what you have been through
to understand the freedom that comes with forgiveness
to experience God's healing
to be more like Jesus.

We are truly blessed when we forgive!

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.  I Peter 3:9

Apple Chip Cake

Apple Chip Cake

1 1/4 cup oil
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
3 cups flour
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup chopped nuts
3 cups peeled and chopped apples (hence the name, "apple chip")

Preheat the oven to 350. In a bowl mix oil, sugar and eggs. Beat until smooth. Sift flour, salt, baking soda and cinnamon and beat into wet ingredients to form a still batter. Add vanilla, nuts and apples. Stir to blend. Spoon batter into a 9 x 13 pan. Bake 1 hour.  (I tend to use a bundt pan instead.)

You don't really need to frost this cake. However, if you just can't resist this is the frosting that is the best!

Caramel Frosting

1/2 cup butter

1 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup milk

1 and 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Bring the butter, brown sugar, and milk to a boil. Boil three minutes and then stir in the powdered sugar. Pour over cake.

Pointing the Finger

"The true test of spirituality is being able not to point the finger!"

Total Forgiveness

We love to point the finger!  It is human nature to point out others' faults, weaknesses, and mistakes. Is it because we are riddled with our own weaknesses? It is a ploy to get all eyes off our failings and transfer them to another? Is it an effort to make another look bad? Is it revenge?

Many times "pointing the finger" is a form of revenge. We aim to hurt the reputation of those that have hurt us by spreading their failing all over the place. I know I have been guilty of this.

Forgiveness, however, lowers the finger and refuses to speak ill of the person that has hurt us. Lately, I have been trying to not speak negatively of those that have hurt me.  Sure, I could reveal their poor behavior, but I am choosing not to.  Not that it is easy, but I have to say, it is freeing.  There is something healing about making the decision to not taint the reputation of another.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:9-12

 

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

    “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.  I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny. Matthew 5:23-26

God is a God of reconciliation. He wants us to be reconciled to others. The above verses testify to the fact that God sees reconciliation as more important than worship!  Really? Could it be that we really can't have a right relationship with God unless we deal with our relationships on earth.  Sometimes though reconciliation seems impossible.  It could be that the other person is unrepentant, abusive, or unwilling to reconcile. Sometimes it isn't wise to reconcile and go back into relationship with someone.  You know that they haven't changed and that you are just going to get hurt all over again.  Or worse yet, you know you will be abused again. Many people feel that if they can't be reconciled then they can't forgive.  However, we should never let the lack of reconciliation impede forgiveness.  We must forgive even if the relationship is never reconciled. Also, just because there is no reconciliation doesn't mean that there is no forgiveness. We can forgive...we need to forgive even if the relationship is never restored.

Get Rid of Those Roots

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15

Whatever hurts you makes you bitter or better.  Plain and simple.  We have a choice to allow those hurts and the pain to refine us or to hold onto them so much so that they define us as a victim.

Bitterness is really the end result of unforgiveness.  It is ugly and sometimes doesn't always surface.  Hebrews says that it is a "root".  Sometimes roots are readily seen.  They can be hard to spot, and yet they can be so destructive.

Tim created a garden for me years ago.  I am so thankful that he did!   However, this garden is close to some trees. Tim took the initiative to lay down material that would block roots from growing up into the garden.  It has been over a decade since we set up the garden plot, and each spring for the past few years guess what I am doing?  Pulling and chopping out tree roots before I can plant!  The tree roots are strong (they punched through the root-blocking fabric), hard to get rid of, and ever growing.  How similar is the root of bitterness?  Bitterness can get a hold of someone and strangle them!  It is hard to cut out and dispose of.  And sometimes, just when you think you have dealt with it, it rears its ugly head!!! Ugh!

I have found that there are layers to forgiveness.  Sometimes we forgive and yet we have to forgive again when the memories come back of the hurt.  It is a constant "forgiving" that ensures that bitterness doesn't grow.  Maybe that is what Jesus meant when he said we must forgive "70 times 7".  It isn't that there are that many offenses to forgive, but that when the hurt pops back up again when need to be quick to forgive even if it takes 490 times.

Have you ever met a bitter person?  Do you like being around them?  Just seeing those bitter people in my life motivates me to forgive so that the root won't grow.  It is easier to forgive now than to chop away at the root later.

Count Your Blessings...

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A week of great peace
Joining in on Zach's science experiments
Meeting up with a friend
Finding Western Civilization for Zach's history
Safety on the icy roads
Clean sheets
Time to delve into God's Word
Finish mini chocolate chips on sale
Ripe pumpkins to cook
History discussions with Zach
Great week of Spanish lessons
Chickadees in the trees

Books on Forgiveness

My all-time favorite book on forgiveness is Total Forgiveness by RT Kendall.  His book is so clear and concise in getting to the bottom of our resistance to forgive.  He clearly lays out what forgiveness looks like and how we should act towards a person we have forgiven.

There are other books out there that deal with forgiveness. Here are a few that I have found helpful.

Prayer of Revenge: Forgiveness in the Face of Injustice-This book talks about impeccatory prayers as a step in forgiveness.

Free to Forgive-This is actually a Bible study

The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict-This book is not only on forgiveness, but conflict resolution

 

Gratitude and Forgiveness

Grace. Forgiveness. Mercy. Gratitude.  They are all intertwined!

Grace is like forgiveness...it is getting what we don't deserve. An unexpected kindness. None of us deserve forgiveness, and yet God offers it to us. The words grace and gratitude are related.  Do you know the word for "thank you" in Spanish is "gracias"? Do you see the word "grace" in it?

Mercy is like forgiveness...it is not getting what we do deserve. A punishment not given. The words mercy and gratitude are related. Do you know the word for "thank you" in French? It is "merci".  Do you see the word "mercy" in it?

So when we are lavished with grace and mercy the response should be one of gratitude.  Gratitude can also be our ticket out of unforgiveness...

Recently, I was able to forgive an offense simply by saying "thanks" to God for the offense.  Sounds crazy, I know! Yet, when we thank Him for those hard events in our lives that have caused great pain we can more freely let go of the hurt.

The next time you are offended watch for ways that you can praise God for it.  Was there some part of it that benefited you? Did you grow in your relationship with God because of it? Did God save you from something worse that could have occurred in your life because of the offense? When we thank God for the hard things we can let go of them....and that is really what forgiveness is.

Grace and Forgiveness

My "Word of the Year" is grace for 2011. Grace and forgiveness are one in the same. Grace is undeserved favor, and when you forgive that is what you are giving: favor to someone who doesn't deserve it.

Recently, my youngest son was in Children's Church and the topic was grace.  I guess he took the lesson to heart, because a few weeks after it we had this dinner conversation...

Tim (my husband): Where did you get that Chex Mix?

Noah (my son): From mom.

Tim: What did you do to earn it?

Noah: Nothing....(long pause)....It's called GRACE!

Indeed, he had figured it out! He did nothing to deserve the Chex Mix.  Rather, I had "graced" him with them. This is what we do for one another when we forgive or overlook an offense. We give the offender something they don't deserve whether it be a smile, a kind word, a prayer of blessing.  Or it could simply be that we don't seek revenge.  That is grace, too.

Where can you show grace {forgiveness}?

Mercy and Forgiveness

Mercy and Forgiveness.  Two concepts that work together. Mercy is not getting what we do deserve. When we extend mercy to others we chose to not dole out to them the punishment that they have coming. God shows us mercy in innumerable ways.  May we have the grace to do the same to others.

"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!"
James 2:12-13

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8

"For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God
rather than burnt offerings."
Hosea 6:6

Pumpkins and Squash

Here are some of our favorite pumpkin recipes...

Photo Source

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

1/2 cup oil

4 eggs

3 cups flour

2 cups sugar

1/2 t. cinnamon

1/2 t. salt

2 t. baking soda

1 small can pumpkin

12oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350. Beat eggs and sugar. Mix in rest of ingredients. Bake for 20 min. I normally make mini muffins out of this.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

4 cups flour

2 cups oats

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups butter

2 cups brown sugar

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 - 16oz can pumpkin

2 cups chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, oats, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Set aside. In a large bowl cream butter, gradually add sugars, beating until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Alternate additions of dry ingredients and pumpkin, mixing well after each addition. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop by 1/4 cup dough amounts onto greased cookie sheet. Bake 20 minutes. (You can make them half the size - regular cookie drop amount- but check the around 12-15 minutes as they may need to come out sooner than the large size.) Enjoy!

Black Bean 'n' Pumpkin Chili

1 med. sweet yellow pepper, chopped

1 med. onion chopped

3 garlic cloves, pressed or minced

2 T. olive oil

3 cups chicken broth

2 cans (15 oz each) black beans, drained

2 1/2 cups chopped chicken (or turkey)

1 can (15 oz) solid-pack pumpkin

1 can (14 oz) diced tomatoes

2 t. dried parsley

2 teaspoons chili powder

1 1/2 teaspoons oregano

1 1/2 t. ground cumin

salt

Saute onion, pepper and garlic in oil. Transfer to a big pot or slow cooker for simmering. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Simmer.

Nikki's Pumpkin Fudge

1 1/2 c. sugar

2/3 c. evaporated milk

1/2 c. pumpkin

2 TBS. butter

1 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1/4 tsp. salt

2 c. mini marshmallows

1 pkg. (12oz) vanilla baking chips

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Line 8 inch square pan with foil. Grease the foil. Butter the sides of a heave sauce pan.Combine sugar, evaporated milk, pumpkin, butter, pumpkin pie spice, and salt. Stir constantly while bringing it to a boil over medium heat. Once boiling, continue boiling 12 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in marshmallows,vanilla chips and vanilla extract. Stir until all ingredients are melted. Pour into square pan. Chill until firm. Cut in squares and store in the fridge.

I wanna be God!

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.  Romans 12:19

Don't we all have days when we want to be God? We want to judge those around us.  We want to dish out appropriate punishment. We want to deal with the offender in the way we see fit.  The only problem? We were never given permission. The role of judge belongs to only One. It is His deal...His assignment alone.

When the temptation hits to take vengeance or to even judge our neighbor we need to remember that we are not only God, but that...

God is watching us, and He knows our sins.

What a sobering thought! We can't stand as judge and jury for someone else simply because we are weak like they are! We are in the same courtroom that they stand in! He is the only Righteous One. He judges fairly, whereas our emotions get in the way of making judgment calls worthy of respect.

One of the ways we forgive is by giving up the right to vengeance. God knows that with every offense there needs to be justice.  He only asks that He be the one to dole it out.

Another way we forgive is to not wait around to watch punishment being served to our enemies.  Waiting for their repentance (which may never come) and their punishment (which is between them and God) means that we are still holding a grudge against them.

Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice,
or the LORD will see and disapprove
and turn his wrath away from him.

Proverbs 24: 17-18

The only way to forgive is to give up being God...